CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This is my gift to your gina
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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