I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Can I color on your dick again?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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