don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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