Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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