can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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