Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize