VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
well you can't waste a boner
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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