Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize