My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
