remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
