I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
