Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Barsexuality is the new black.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize