wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
