belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
