dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
