WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize