I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
