Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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