You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
