It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
