i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
