have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
