I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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