She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Randomize
