We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
