Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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