About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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