the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
