I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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