Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize