I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
