my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
