tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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