and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I understand Curling. That high.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
