dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize