I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
