You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
