i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
