Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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