well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
