fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My ass is underappreciated
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
