i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
