Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Farmville is her only friend.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
