the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
