As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dear god my vagina.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
