he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
