we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
