thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
