Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
