im drinking this country out of the recession.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
