Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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