I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize