I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
