Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
