i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize