I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I think my vagina is haunted
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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