Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
