I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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