your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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