Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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