When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize