I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Randomize
