Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Non-Jews are for practice
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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