my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
