Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
