I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Mom said you looked used
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
