I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
