I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
