oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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