I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
