Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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