Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
