If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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