Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
