She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
